Very good, it flows nicely and still stays topical although some words cause the stanza to choke slightly. I get the effect that you can tear everything right down the middle to have life on side and death on the other.

Which at a guess is what your trying to demonstrate. how life and death is closely interlinked. The opening line suggesting the cycle life of the pheonix contradicts this rule and so suggests the freedom of life from death for the continuation of the peice.

The majority seems to be suggesting another figure to which you describe, perhaps yourself from someone elses point of veiw or maybe the opposite and your view of someone else.

But thats just me

x x x x x x ily x x x

--
Itsu Spiran/Paperdoll of Slayer City

---> Slayer city [link]

That's... bloody good! I'll be back when you've finished it

xoxoxo.

p.s. your Mum should well get deviantart

--
~Someone's always fitter than you~

She does.
But she's probably forgot about it, I shall remind her that she has an account.

xoxo

--
"Rise from the ashes, like a phoenix reborn"

Icon from [link]